Being kind

“To build a respectful, kind and loving relationship, begin by being respectful, kind and loving to yourself.” Ariel and Shya Kane

We have a tradition in my family to say “Good night” in our thoughts or aloud to those whom we love dearly but who are far away or are not anymore among living….

We did it since my mother, father and I stayed in Algeria for three years and my sister was alone at a boarding school near Moscow. Then we did it after my father died. Later we extended to all we loved, even if there were sleeping in the same house or in the same bed. I still do it time to time. And the night before my husband’s birthday party this year it occurred to me that I never ever said Good-night to myself. I wondered shortly why and then said: “Good night, dear!” I had a strange but very warm feeling spreading as a wave from my head to toe.

Next morning of the party, my mother came to help me with preparations. In the past, we had stressful time doing this and had arguments what to do and how to do different things. But this time, it was so relaxing and we smiled and laughed a lot. And at some point, my mother said very spontaneously: “I love you!” You must know that she grew up in a time when saying this was considered as being loose or not educated and so on. So saying this is definitely not something that she does easily. And when she said it in the past she whether said as an answer to my “I love you” or I simply didn’t believe her. I knew she loves me in her way, but my inner reaction to her saying loving me was: “Oh she just says it like that, she doesn’t mean it!” But this time, I truly believed her and hurried to hug her. And when she said it at this moment, a similar wave of warmth washed over me as the night before when I said “Good night” to myself. And I recognized that if I am kind to myself then I am able to be kind to my mother, to be kind to people I love dearly and even to be kind to all people whom I meet on my way.

0 thoughts on “Being kind

  1. Oh Vica, what a true value to have! There are enough hateful people in our world,
    I believe we were meant to be loving and kind, not only to our families but anyone
    we meet. I have spent the afternoon with a friend who suffers from dementia, but
    she is the sweetest, kind woman…a lesson for all of us.

    1. I completely agree, Marcy: we are per default kind and courageous and curious and funny. As we grow up we learn to be afraid above healthy feeling of being careful and we learn to hurry and neglect those around. Although children do fight about toys and other things and are aggressive sometimes, but also this starts a bit later. The tiniest and the youngest are never cruel. Babies learn to smile earlier than to push a spoon away or to hit. I believe that love and kindness are the best means to successful solving of all problems.

      Thank you for sharing the story of your friend. She is in my thoughts and I hope she has a lot of wonderful moments with the kind people like you.

      With hugs, Vica

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